Don't shoot the messenger...

This week the British Government fired a scientific advisor because they felt that his advice was far too scientific.

They feel that although the man is an "expert" (a vacuous and awe-sapping title) in his particular field of psycho-pharmacology (nutters+drugs+blender=), his ranking of uppers and downers that we can legally or otherwise partake is just plain wrong. Well, not "wrong" per se, just not the answer they foresaw in their crystal ball (not to be confused with crystal meth...)

The chain of events has probably gone a little something like this: the government, in the grips of an epiphany regarding a "perceived social issue," (a sort of hunchey-thingey about people and stuff; the origins of which can probably be traced back to a doodle on a cocktail napkin somewhere) decided that they needed to do something to tackle the issue. So they decided to: construct a policy, pass some legislation, gather some evidence to support it and have a smoke (in the only room in which it is legal to do so within the borders of the United Kingdom, which just so happens to be situated inside the Houses of Parliament... enchanté). At some point in the political machinations the evidence is gathered: a "committee" is formed, complete with a set of large rubber stamps, whose job it is to analyse existing data or undertake "studies" relating to their given subject and report back their findings to the government by way of a sixties style rubber stamp collage. It's all very official. Only this time the government stupidly decided to send the rubber stamps First Class (First in, last out) with the Royal Mail instead of the "guaranteed next millennium" Special Delivery. The reason for this massive oversight probably being that the Home Secretary realised he wouldn't be able to claim back for the postage, or the stamps...

Without the rubber stamps the committee is forced to do the only logical thing, construct a report based on the actual findings. Now the head of the advisory committee (being a Professor I'll have you know) has realised that with the Royal Mail striking the only way that he can get his message to the government is through the media, hoping that they will pass it directly to the government (in the public sphere) in a graceful and non-shit-sturring manner, (which they duly f%&ed up) he had mused about Twittering it but his acute fear of things avian wouldn't let him.... they asked for his opinion, he gave it, and they gave him a boot up the arse (shoe, not the back end of a car, yikes)

It was not as if he was asking the government for anything (a hit from the proverbial bong maybe?), merely doing his job, as a scientist, assessing the current social and psychological effects of drugs in Blighty, in a scientific way, and reporting this scientific view point. If you are not going to base your policy on scientific evidence then don't bother asking a bunch of scientists to advise you, and then fire one of them because his advice was too scientific. If you hire a comedian to comment on people looking at themselves in the back of spoons and give their opinion as to whether their face looks proportional (or attractive), surely you are not going to fire him for stating what is plain for all the world to see? Some people need to chill out.....

I am not questioning the government's drug policy as I don't have the time and they don't have the sense. I am questioning the need to fire somebody for doing their job, which is always going to be a redundant waste of tax payer's money if your policy is based on the Sun's astrology section... This "opinion" is not one man standing up and saying that he wants to open a "Coffee House" in Trafalgar Square, this is a viewpoint carried by the majority of the "experts" on the soon-to-be-made-redundant committee.

It's time for us all to grow up a little and if it's a spoon, call it a bloody spoon....

Cult de Celebrité

Once again an individual has been selected to be shoved down the throats of the British public. It is amazing how the media tend to treat the general public like babies, depicting these "celebrity" snacks as lovely, yummy and wholesome treats, all the while making aeroplane noises as they prepare the "goop" and head for the jugular..... ur I mean oesophagus.

It is bad enough that we had to sit through a crap girl band (Spice Girls/Girls Aloud), followed by a dire "Footballer's Wives" romance and marriage (David Beckham/Ashley Cole) now we have to sit through the dreaded Solo Album..... Yes, Cheryl Cole has been basted and battered (in the deep fried way - not the spousal abuse way) in the manner of Victoria Beckham, and is just about ready to be served to the public on a platter with a basket of chips.... It is only a matter of time before her inevitable shift to the US menu and she is repackaged as a nutritious Burger and Fries.....

But at least we can be happy in the knowledge that when large media organisations, such as the BBC, choose to interview the new "Darling of the British Public" (or as I like to think of her, the next course in a long unappetising meal), they do so with only the purest of intentions. It is not because she has been chosen as the latest and greatest pre-packaged widget that will bring home the bacon because she is pretty, and people will buy her shit. And of course people will buy her shit, because if the only thing that that they can hear is her shit, and the only thing that they can see is her shit, then shit it is. The gentlemen tending to the garden have selected this "British Rose" for flowering, and the rest of us are up to mouths in shit, and boy are we lapping it up....

Open wide America, your shit burger is on it's way....

The Path of Rebellion

When was the last time that you saw a good old fashioned rally/riot/display of public outcry (by old fashioned I mean not populated by a bunch of anarchistic skinheads hell bent on throwing something through a window.)? Was it the eighties? Maybe there is nothing left to fight for....

As far as social movements go, well, they've gone! They've gone digital.... or so I imagine, for people have been protesting since time began (all the way back to when Ugg was pissed that Blurg didn't respect his cave enough to not take a dump in it) and I don't see us all of a sudden burying our heads in the sand like some crazy ostrich family reunion. So there has to be a social movement taking place somewhere (but like a bowel movement I am not quite sure where the smell is emanating from)...

So how does one find out... it is not as if Google will list the top ten social movement web pages just like that... because invariably if they were to do so that would probably invalidate the movement itself.... or something like that...

Like all good paths, this one is poorly lit, bumpy, steep and winding, with no sign posts and not a map in sight. And who says that the internet is just for porn....

The Shiny Side

Has anyone seen the dark side of the moon? Of course not, because we only have one view point with which to admire it from. Even if scientists were to provide me with pictures of the dark side I would remain unconvinced, as I suffer from that oh-so-typical "seeing is believing" mentality.

Of late I started to realise that we will never know the truth, merely believe points of view. For instance when I was growing up I listened to a lot of Heavy Metal, without knowing much about its roots, but was convinced that it was the most hardcore hetero-male thing that anyone could be involved in. Having grown up in a country in which it was (and still is) illegal to be gay definitely makes me cringe to my core about the way that things were (and are). There was this perceived mental connection between leather and hardcore, bloodlust inducing, hair growing manliness! I knew some people that didn't wash.... ever.... not even dishes.... And I recently discovered that the connection between leather and heavy metal was down to one man, Rob Halford - the lead singer of Judas Priest.

Now the really interesting thing to note is that his penchant for leather relates to his ties to the gay scene in the 60s, as he is gay. This little revelation shocked me to the core, as these two scenes are extremely far apart in my mind, my how I chuckle to think how in a homophobic little country like mine there are groups of hairy, leather-clad sweat-barons, walking around in the belief that they are affirming their "straight guy" personas when they are in fact flying the rainbow flag for gay rights!

So I guess that it doesn't really matter whether or not I see the dark side of the moon... because the moon is a sphere without any sides. Except for that shiny one that keeps me awake a night...

Just keep ducking...

Wake up. Travel. Work. Travel. Sleep.

I just love how life works in a cycle... always just going round and round and round. Some cycles start, some end, whilst others just keep on going. This is just another one of those "unspoken life lessons" that you are sure you slept through... or maybe you were looking out the window wondering where all of the time ACTUALLY goes to... space?

There are times when I wish that someone had sat me down and listed out "Life Lessons" in a sequential format. Lessons about love, learning (yes, that's right - learning about learning, bloody cyclical shit!). I realised for the first time the other day that all we ever spend our lives doing is learning, be it watching TV (social behavioural patterns), gardening (well... gardening...), making tea (perfecting the art of the dipped bag...) or reading (depends on the subject matter). Now obviously some of the activities that we undertake and lessons that we learn depend on how old we are, for as we progress in the journey the lessons that we learn from going to the toilet can become quite important... Trivial, cyclical, yet important...

So, choose your activities well, for the cycle will end sometime, and when it does do you really want to look back and be able to say that you have learned everything that there is to know about the social interactions of the inhabitants of a square in the EastEnd.... or a house where the inhabitants can't leave until enough strangers have requested for them to do so telephonically, or textually (SMSly if you will)....

Let's just say that the University of Life might ask for it's diploma back...

The end of the Wild West

It is official: The West is no longer Wild, or gay...

Yesterday the Supreme Court in California banned the practice of Gay Marriage, raising more than one eyebrow (which really makes it more of a look of surprise than a disapproving one-eye-brow-lift). The irony is that California is where the gay rights movement really kicked off, where gay people really felt comfortable and confident enough to gather in large numbers and fight for their rights... Not to mention the ironic destruction of the concept of the West of America (specifically California) being "Wild, Liberal and Free". Although truth be told the Wild West was named so because of the lawlessness and general disdain for order that tippified the excitement of discovery at the time... A brave new world battling against the stereotypes of an old one...

So maybe this is not the end of the Wild West at all, merely a new era of lawlessness. The only difference being that the law is now going to broken in the sincerest of forms... love.

Look who's not talking now...

Conversation n.

The spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings; talk.

This troubles me somewhat.... the idea that a conversation is all about the spoken exchange of "blah blah blah." It is not the idea that troubles actually, but the lack of traditional conversation we encouter on a day-to-day basis. Now don't get me wrong, one cannot go through the day without speaking to people (that is, unless that person is: a) mute b) undertaking a vow of silence c) a monk [see b)] or d) David Beckham) But it is the type of conversation that we partake in, as well as those individuals that we converse with. This change in socialization has been borne out of the boom of "online networking," which is the brainchild of every man, woman and child that cannot string together an audible, coherent or meaningful sentence in real time.

It turns out that socializing is nothing more than a battlefield between the speechmakers and the letter writers, and the ball is rapidly flying into the court of the latter, for as popular as "Skype" and "youtube" are they are not scoring any killer blows in the networking stakes.

The reason in my opinion is that now that spelling has officially been thrown off the edge of a very high building, and is reaching terminal velocity we are no longer being judged when it comes to the written word.

Whereas, if you sound like a dick... well, there's no fakin' it. Innit....

A Spot of Chicken Hunting

Well... well... well...

I do love a good scandal. Especially one that is so well covered by the media, I mean it is almost as if... the media broke the scandal and are now circling like vultures at the feast of the 5000 (surely there must have been some leftovers...). Which isn't exactly correct, seeing as in most mass media driven events it is pretty much like going chicken hunting: chickens hardly run about in the wild anymore so you tend to have to bring your own... All of the old cliches: "fish in a barrel" etc. would also apply...

I am talking about Peter Andre and Katie Price's split of course.... nothing to do with government expense claims at all...

In both cases methinks that the chickens are coming home to roost.... and they're packin heat!

The wonderful thing is that 98% of the world couldn't give a shit, as they would rather spend their days foraging for food, digging for drinkable water or fighting against a system that doesn't care... they could definitely murder a chicken or two....

Tough at the Top

I really pity politicians.

Their lives are under constant inspection, their affairs constantly being rustled through like a skip filled with unwanted crap that might turn out to be media gold... In many ways politicians have attained "celebrity" status, meaning that the mainstream media have deemed their "worthwhile" existance worthy of intrusion and publication.

Funnily enough I pity "celebrities" too, as these individuals are constantly trying to find ways to justify their inclusion in the intrusion.... their status as a "person-that-a-schmuck-has-deemed-people-must-read/hear-about-everyday." This has led to the ridiculous notion of paparazzi chasing, with the hunter becoming the hunted, the prey becoming the mullet on a moped as the talentless fame-aholics prostitute and flagelate themselves in the pursuit of acknowledgement of their mere existence on this planet.

But at the same time I have no sympathy for either camps: politicians or celebrities, as these portions of society are really above the rules. They may not be above criticism, but can criticism really be considered an adequate price for:

(a) trying to adopt babies from around the world, without having any real assessment on feasibility or suitabilty of the potential parent(s) in question

(b) claiming back expenses for every personal acquisition/ escapade over the course of your life., and not possessing a background in basic arithmetic, claiming fictional amounts.

The problem is that if you are a member of the public you have someone above you that will smack you in the face if you step out of the predermined lines, and gladly say no to your outlandish and selfish requests. Be it a boss, parent, teacher, policeman, lawyer, gang leader, priest... there is someone to discipline you.

Oh, it is tough to be in the public eye, in the public pocket, but not in reach of the public's killer left hook... On second thoughts, I really hate politicians.

The Shape of Things

I think that to be interested in the shape of objects as opposed to their detail is both a blessing and a curse. It is through the basic "look and feel" approach that we truly see beauty for what it is: gut feeling. I don't think that if you stare at a painting or sculpture for hours that you will discover some kind of hidden feeling that your sub conscious has under lock and key. Either your eyes/brain perceives beauty, or it doesn't. To stare will merely allow you to grow used to the image before you, and this familiarity will breed comfort.

Go with the gut, enjoy the taste. It is our need to delve deeper that will bring us closer to a perceived "ugly truth." The devil is in the detail, they say.

But does that mean that we should take life at face value?

Maybe I am confusing beauty with prettyness.... The shallowest of all descriptions.

I guess the key is that beauty is in both the immediate, and the delayed and detailed....

The Golden Path

Should I really care that someone has not called me by my given name? Is it sexist that I take offense when I am called by a girl's name? If someone was to call me by a common name in Finland that has a funny meaning in English and I was to get offended, am I just being culturally insensitive?

If I am "insulted" by someone, should I really give a damn? If someone calls me a monkey and I am a black man (not that it matters whether I am or am not), is this deemed as being racist? And if so, why? Surely that is just further propogating this age-old racist sterotypical propoganda?

It is all bullshit. The only things that allow insults to take root are pride and power games. Socially, it is seen as some kind of a challenge. But a challenge with what prize? Why do we always look for reasons to hate, to dislike, to seperate?

I guess the reasons that we do are the same reasons that I am bothering to type this out - we love to bitch, and we are all narcisistic monkeys...

The only true Golden Path is through the frontal lobe - lobotomies all round... because ignorance truly is bliss...

The Real Blog is a Slog....

What is the point of blogging? Okay, I realise that to ask this question within a blog is ironic, as I am sure that deep down I want as many people as possible to read this and then answer the question themselves.....possibly within a blog....

I guess to me blogs are like diaries, only without the privacy and racy details as most blogs that I have encountered are just a record of people's lives... And in many cases they are the most boring, dreary and repetitive pieces of work since the art world thought that it would be a great idea to repeat Andy Warhol's style of repetition in an attempt to recreate originality... or whatever.

The point that I am trying to make is that in order to be taken seriously in this whole blog-world that we live in you need to fit into a box. I choose not to label the blog, and so no one reads it. I label the blog (e.g. scooters, holidays, autumn - these really are the suggested options below) and that means that I have to write about the aforementioned - boringly repetitive isn't it....

So, what is the point of blogging again?

The Real Difference between Lamb and Beef

Sheep, I tell you... Sheep!

Well, possibly cattle, actually. It all depends on where you are, and whether you are being led around by a bloke with a stick or prodded in the rump by a bloke with, erm, an electric stick...

It is amazing what we as humans will allow ourselves to be put through, or indeed put ourselves through. Be it travelling in large containers of steel with rails to grasp a hold of and barely legible safety maifestos from the 70's hurtling to work at the speed of a zimmerframe; or choosing to absorb the constant barrage of drivel that "those in the know" feel we really "need" or even "want" to know: playing their pipes of glamour filled pages as we follow, powerless to the tune of our mental demise.

The really unfortunate thing is that we have not necessarily chosen the path of human development, merely fallen into line as we herd ourselves with sticks and carrots into the uneviable torture that is our future...

Well at least it will all be covered in sleek "free paper"style - complete with inane gossip about who will be the first over the cliff, and what shitty club-cum-shack-stroke-toilet they went to last night....

Content

I love this word. Its dual meaning and purpose bring me endless joy, especially as I flip through the top ten movies currently at the box office (either side of the big blue thing in the middle that we feel content dumping shit into), and realise that I am not content with content.

Maybe it is the mediocre nature of the content that causes me such discontentment, or possibly it is the bubble gum chewing contentment of the intended recipients that causes my folicles to desire death... oh to be a bald old man with grandchildren to belittle....

I love user-generated content as much as the next guy (as let's be honest we are all users, and I am currently in the process of generating, so hey!), the problem is when big business tries to dress itself up and generate some contentment content... just don't...ever... Going to the movies should be an experience - if WE want to watch clips of dogs farting then WE will go to a place where WE filmed it, and WE will be content. However, if YOU choose to parade Zack "I'm-definitely-going-to-get-some-work-done-when-I'm-older" Sing and Dance Man in front of me again I will either: projectile vomits pieces of my small intestine all over the movie theatre OR not bother watching another movie EVER!

You know it is bad when there isn't even a decent movie for your flatmate to download for you...

I say bring back Alfred, God rest his soul, even his decomposed corpse could make me more content... content.

In the land of the blind, some people get by...

It turns out that the media in most countries do not have the time, nor the resources, to churn out the constant dirth of "information" required to fill pages and pages of print, screen and telecaster every day. It also turns out most of the companies/individuals that are being reported on have at some point hired some form of "Public Relations Officer"....

This was probably the kid at school that kept on bragging that he/she had met the Hoff in real life, and that he/she was going on a cruise with said curly-haired ninja (less the actual training/skills).

So what we read is shit.... in a bag.

Well, at least it is shit that can be recycled...

Signs of Life

Today many people in London have descended on those institutions that they believe have cheated them out of their future. It is like a fair ground of protesting, pick a ride and win a prize....

To get a coherent idea of what the protesters want is impossible, as the press have succeeded in diluting each protest message into one: some people are not happy. This is one of the most positive signs that I have seen yet that people on the ground do care. What they care about is definitely up for debate, but the mere fact that political mobilization is taking place can only be seen as a step in the direction that we all need to make: the direction of involvement. We are all a part of this society, and the quicker we realise that we all contribute, the quicker we can use our voices.

Necessary Evils

The times are decidedly tough... or so we would be lead to believe. Having grown up in a society and a time that thrives on growth and expansion at all costs we have neglected the most basic of principles: crop rotation.

If our growth potential was unlimited (as many would want the average consumer to believe) then we would have grown infinitely quicker, stronger and bolder than we currently have.

All growth comes at a cost: time and resources, and if we are under the illusion that our only constraint is access and time with our resources, then we will ultimately expand significantly. This is of course not the case, we are doomed to live in cycles the way that the rest of the planet does.

Just look at the seasons, the plants, the animals.... they take the bad with the good. In our endless search for the "good" we have neglected to take note of the cost - our "bad". Companies need this cycle, just as do ideas, inspirations, societies. We are just in denial, showing how selfish we have become... chasing endless summers with the aid of air travel. So have we chased the endless summer of economic growth. I am of the opinion that the world needs hardship, otherwise we would not know what a good thing was...

Time is short

Time is not really worth that much to me... I have realised that no matter what I do, I will never be doing the thing that I want most... regardless, the grass is always greener, period.

With this in mind I visited Camden this weekend, and found that it has become a place devoid of substance, and dominated by the want of money. It made me think of musicians and symbols of freedom and conflict (healthy debate and angst) that exist within the UK and I found myself wanting. There is no rebellion, there is no culture, there is just no time.

The young are dying, one day at a time, and we have killed them with complacency and advertising one hour at a time... constantly giving them things to want instead of need, to give the reins of intellectual leadership over to them, instead of directing their knowledge... We have succeeded in creating nothing of value... Good job.

The limits of our time

To say that we do not learn from history, would be to say that each day the sun does not rise, nor set. The truth is that we care not for the experiences of the past, we care only for our own experiences, and our own destiny.

It is hope that makes us try, and it is hope that makes us fail. We try to change the present and affect the future, as there are always outcomes that we would prefer in any given situation. It our hope for a preferable outcome that strips our minds of all of the lessons that we have learned from the past. So, has there been a time when we have had such information gathering and collaboration as now? If so are there lessons that we should be learning? If we really are on the verge of an informational revolution, then would it not be best to take a look behind us and ponder this before we go ahead?

Only one thing is for certain: our generation will learn either way, even if those after us don't...

Losing faith

Wow, two weeks can really fly.... As I'm sure is evident I am having some "online" commitment issues. I guess it it true what they say: in order to be online you have to get online.... Duh

So the podcasting thing has not happened yet, made some background music, but it'll happen.... I hope. I have not yet looked into the possibilities of online political movements that are attempting to gain critical mass yet, the question is what would bring online beings together in a way that they would form a group. Social aspects? Digital aspects? What does having an online personality and identity mean?

Casting call

I have now decided that I should try this whole "podcast" idea... Why limit online impact to merely text? The world is filled with content, sounds and sights, so why not?

As for the content: for the moment content is not as important as structure and exposure. Foundations first....

One Pie, Two Mouths

The world is in a state of constant flux, economic boom to sudden recession. From bumper harvest to starving masses... No matter how much we seem to better our habitat and "our lives" things do not really get better. Our potential to destroy is endless, almost as endless as our power of thought. The thing that amazes me about society and humans is that regardless of the scope of our development and perceived "progress," we are still unable to think about the consequences of our actions and our systems. This linked with an inate lack of regard for our fellow man has led to the turmoil that we now see in the Middle East, Africa and other such "Hot Spots..."

So what has changed since the days of Plato, Aristotle, Ghengis Khan? How much better have we become at defining our situation? At perceiving opportunity? At holding each other back?

We are forever holding each other back under the perceived economic notion that there is no such thing as infinity, not even when referring to our humanity. This is the root of one of our problems... we have set ourselves up to fail. By setting limits on our own humanity and then spreading this on to our prodginy and our neighbours we have created conflict. If there is only one pie and there are two mouths, then we have a problem. The concept of sharing is not recognized, is may have been touched on, but on a bilateral basis, and it was called "trade." We do not give freely, neither do we receive freely. To us there will always be a cost.

From pigeon to potential

The online world is growing and has amazing potential for growth. But the question really is: where can it go? Is it not just a mix of information with no real physical implication? I guess the thing that cannot be overlooked is that globalization is completely about communication: regardless of the physical restrictions that have slowed down transport and the movement of people and resources the speed of human development is invariably linked to increased communication.

So what does this mean for the power that peer to peer communication and online collaboration will yield over development? What are the hinderances?

And so it continues...

Well, I am now committed to becoming an "online" individual. The reasons and advantages are there for all to see, with the only cost being time (and sunshine until Mobile technology really kicks off for me).

My quest is to find a politicized internet, and find out whether social networking can change the way that we live and the way that we govern ourselves. Who knows?

The beginning of the end

Well, everything needs a beginning. So this is it. Who know where it will go from here.